Friday, October 26, 2007
Oh no..!
This morning, I found out that the first person I met on campus..Glad Kidd .. was attacked by a peeping tom behind the dorms. I can't help but think that if I was at the dorm, acting like the RA I am supposed to be, that it might not have happened. Maybe I would have seen the creep before he hurt her...chased him off...something. I'm skipping classes today to go to the hospital and check on her. I can't believe this could happen at a place like this!
Another night...another event
The following is an IC post from KSU.
----
I'm slowly getting moved in. The few things I shipped to myself haven't arrived yet. I forget how slow mail can be from Africa. It seems odd having a room to myself now. I hadn't even thought about living arrangements here. All of the girls have their rooms completely decked out. Then there is me...bare walls and a plain bed. I don't need more. But if I want to fit in, I think I'm going to have to decorate like they do. Luna offered to help me with that, bless her.
Last night was the charity date auction. I'd never been to anything like it before. Almost the whole campus had turned out. It seemed like another good opportunity to mix with my fellow students. But, I didn't offer myself up for auction. I wanted to see how it all worked first. In hindsight, I think it would have been a good idea. The students being auctioned were brought up on stage, had to say a bit about themselves, and answer a (sometimes odd) question. A chance to introduce myself to everyone was missed. As it was, I felt a bit invisible in the crowd. Luna and Ducky were there, so at least I knew a few people.
But, I just don't seem to click well with everyone. I thought that volunteering to be an RA would help me meet everyone. But I think it is making it harder. Now it is like there is a wall between us because I am an 'authority figure' and they don't want me to catch them breaking the rules or something. Gah! It's just like growing up...I could play with the other kids, but I was always one of 'them' because my parents were the aid workers, and their parents were the refugees. Well...it's a role I know well, I had just hoped I could escape it here.
----
I'm slowly getting moved in. The few things I shipped to myself haven't arrived yet. I forget how slow mail can be from Africa. It seems odd having a room to myself now. I hadn't even thought about living arrangements here. All of the girls have their rooms completely decked out. Then there is me...bare walls and a plain bed. I don't need more. But if I want to fit in, I think I'm going to have to decorate like they do. Luna offered to help me with that, bless her.
Last night was the charity date auction. I'd never been to anything like it before. Almost the whole campus had turned out. It seemed like another good opportunity to mix with my fellow students. But, I didn't offer myself up for auction. I wanted to see how it all worked first. In hindsight, I think it would have been a good idea. The students being auctioned were brought up on stage, had to say a bit about themselves, and answer a (sometimes odd) question. A chance to introduce myself to everyone was missed. As it was, I felt a bit invisible in the crowd. Luna and Ducky were there, so at least I knew a few people.
But, I just don't seem to click well with everyone. I thought that volunteering to be an RA would help me meet everyone. But I think it is making it harder. Now it is like there is a wall between us because I am an 'authority figure' and they don't want me to catch them breaking the rules or something. Gah! It's just like growing up...I could play with the other kids, but I was always one of 'them' because my parents were the aid workers, and their parents were the refugees. Well...it's a role I know well, I had just hoped I could escape it here.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
College part 2
Oh my....what have I done?
I arrived at KSU late two nights ago. A closed party was happening for pledges to the popular fraternity and sorority. I don't know if I would have anything in common with them anyway. Besides, I cannot support hazing in any way. There is enough real violent, degrading and dehumanizing behavior in the world already. I don't need to see more in the name of 'fun'!
In any event, I was locked out and so were a few others. I seemed to hit it off with two girls right away, Luna and Ducky. Ducky had built a huge bonfire in the parking lot, and we had a very good time dancing. The highlight of the evening was right after the Greeks unlocked the doors. Ducky stripped down to her all-together and streaked through their party! Someone came running out shortly after she did, and wanted to know what was going on. I played dumb while Ducky hid and dressed. It was late, so we went our separate ways, they to the dorms, and I to my off campus home since I don't have a dorm room yet.
Yesterday, I arrived fairly early. I had heard that there were some dorm spots opening up and I wanted a crack at them. Each of the three dorms had a few openings. But the Red dorm also had an RA spot open. I don't know what came over me, but I volunteered to be one of the two RAs at the Red (Girls only) dorm, and was accepted! At least I have my own room now. And the rent is very cheap, so it doesn't bite into my budget. Heck, I spent more on my favorite pumps than it costs to rent the room for 3 weeks.
Shortly after hanging my name on the door, I received an IM from Luna. She invited me over to the rec center where a movie was starting ("The Neverending Story"). She and Ducky were already there. When they saw my RA tag, and figured out that *I* was *their* RA we all had a good laugh. Again, it was a very fun time watching the movie. Maybe I will make some friends here after all? Here's to hoping!
Tonight is a big party and student auction. I guess we will see how it goes.
I arrived at KSU late two nights ago. A closed party was happening for pledges to the popular fraternity and sorority. I don't know if I would have anything in common with them anyway. Besides, I cannot support hazing in any way. There is enough real violent, degrading and dehumanizing behavior in the world already. I don't need to see more in the name of 'fun'!
In any event, I was locked out and so were a few others. I seemed to hit it off with two girls right away, Luna and Ducky. Ducky had built a huge bonfire in the parking lot, and we had a very good time dancing. The highlight of the evening was right after the Greeks unlocked the doors. Ducky stripped down to her all-together and streaked through their party! Someone came running out shortly after she did, and wanted to know what was going on. I played dumb while Ducky hid and dressed. It was late, so we went our separate ways, they to the dorms, and I to my off campus home since I don't have a dorm room yet.
Yesterday, I arrived fairly early. I had heard that there were some dorm spots opening up and I wanted a crack at them. Each of the three dorms had a few openings. But the Red dorm also had an RA spot open. I don't know what came over me, but I volunteered to be one of the two RAs at the Red (Girls only) dorm, and was accepted! At least I have my own room now. And the rent is very cheap, so it doesn't bite into my budget. Heck, I spent more on my favorite pumps than it costs to rent the room for 3 weeks.
Shortly after hanging my name on the door, I received an IM from Luna. She invited me over to the rec center where a movie was starting ("The Neverending Story"). She and Ducky were already there. When they saw my RA tag, and figured out that *I* was *their* RA we all had a good laugh. Again, it was a very fun time watching the movie. Maybe I will make some friends here after all? Here's to hoping!
Tonight is a big party and student auction. I guess we will see how it goes.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
College life
Whew! Am I a basket case or what?
But, something else happened that I hope will perk me up, and change things around.
A few blogs that I read mentioned a new sim Kindly State University. It is a college life roleplaying sim. (Apparently it was a high school before the crackdown on 18+ began)
The bloggers had 'enrolled' and it sounded like they were having a very good time.
From what I can tell, it is a sim that is like a college campus. And to be there, you have to roleplay as a college student, faculty, or other campus person.
So I signed up. I already know some of the students there (although they don't know me, since I lurk on their blogs). It is a ready made community. Hopefully it will be easier for me to meet people there.
I have a new RP-Mereille background for being there.
For KSU, I am now a 21-year old freshman.
I am starting college late because I have spent the last 3 years volunteering with a humanitarian aid organization in Africa. My parents are aid workers. My mother is an American teacher, and my father is a French civil engineer.
Because of their careers, I have spent my entire life travelling with them, and never attended a normal school. They home-schooled me. When we went on holiday, it was on our boat, or travelling to visit relatives in France or the US.
They wanted me to go to college when I finished my high school studies. But I managed to get them to agree to let me volunteer first. Now I can't put it off any longer. I am not sure about college. I don't really want to go. But I do need the degree to be able to continue my parents' work. Travel delays (I was in an area of Africa that has only one airplane a week) kept me from getting to school on time. Now I am arriving a week after the term starts, the dorms are full, and I don't know a soul.
Cross your fingers. I hope this works out!
But, something else happened that I hope will perk me up, and change things around.
A few blogs that I read mentioned a new sim Kindly State University. It is a college life roleplaying sim. (Apparently it was a high school before the crackdown on 18+ began)
The bloggers had 'enrolled' and it sounded like they were having a very good time.
From what I can tell, it is a sim that is like a college campus. And to be there, you have to roleplay as a college student, faculty, or other campus person.
So I signed up. I already know some of the students there (although they don't know me, since I lurk on their blogs). It is a ready made community. Hopefully it will be easier for me to meet people there.
I have a new RP-Mereille background for being there.
For KSU, I am now a 21-year old freshman.
I am starting college late because I have spent the last 3 years volunteering with a humanitarian aid organization in Africa. My parents are aid workers. My mother is an American teacher, and my father is a French civil engineer.
Because of their careers, I have spent my entire life travelling with them, and never attended a normal school. They home-schooled me. When we went on holiday, it was on our boat, or travelling to visit relatives in France or the US.
They wanted me to go to college when I finished my high school studies. But I managed to get them to agree to let me volunteer first. Now I can't put it off any longer. I am not sure about college. I don't really want to go. But I do need the degree to be able to continue my parents' work. Travel delays (I was in an area of Africa that has only one airplane a week) kept me from getting to school on time. Now I am arriving a week after the term starts, the dorms are full, and I don't know a soul.
Cross your fingers. I hope this works out!
Friendship...?
Ok...multiple posts in one day. I'm feeling a little down today so I guess this is my therapy. It is very long, so I'm breaking it up into multiple posts. :)
First...Friends...
I have been in SL almost two months, and I have exactly 0 friends. Oh...I have people on my friends list. But that is where it ends. We never seem to get together and do anything. At best we exchange hellos on IM. Some I have never talked to again. I know it is partly (mostly) my fault. I am not, by nature, a very outgoing person. I tend to wait for things to happen, instead of making them happen. It is very hard for me to introduce myself. I tend to hang out on the sidelines, looking like a forlorn wallflower. And when someone does offer friendship, I am not likely to try to start a conversation later when I see they are on. I get an overwhelming feeling of not wanting to disturb them, or be a bother. In fact, now that I think about it. That is my driving fear. I don't want to 'be a bother'. How sad is that? I would rather wander around alone than take the chance of being a burden or feeling unwelcome.
It also doesn't help that I either stay at home working on a project, or I go to a club (Either Bogart's, Phats, or the Seabreeze...all jazz clubs). I guess that just like RL, if you want to make quality relationships, a club is not the place to spend your time. So when I am on, it is always what do *I* want to do. Where am *I* going. When what I really want is a community. I want to be asking where are *we* going. Do *we* want to check out this place I've heard about. I just can't get past this 'being a bother' fear.
Second...sex...
I've been putting off thinking about how I feel about this. In almost two months, I haven't done anything. In fact, I think I have gone out of my way to avoid it. At least, when it comes up, I do my best to change the subject. I even have a bathing suit with a skirt. It is a two-piece, but about as modest as they can get. In fact, I had a date with one guy who took me to a secluded beach, and he actually said "I expected you to have a one-piece". He thought I was a complete prude! (Which is probably why I haven't heard from him again... c'est la vie)
Forcing myself to think about it, and looking back at how I have behaved, I can see what he meant. I'm not against the idea of sex. In fact, the more comfortable I am getting in SL, the more comfortable I am becoming with it. Early on, I even spent one night touring various places: public rooms, beaches, even dungeons, bdsm clubs, and a Gor sim or two. A lot of what I found was disturbing, a little sparked my imagination and peaked my curiosity. But...the instant someone would talk to me (and for a girl in a sex sim it can be measured in nano-seconds!) I would panic. Oh no! He said something...he wants sex! And I would change the subject..."No, I'm just visiting", "I'm exploring", basically anything I could think of to put the person off.
And there we come back to it: panic....fear. Just like with friends. I don't want to 'be a bother' or in this case 'be a flop'. When it comes to online, I have never done it before. I'm not sure I know how. Oh, I know what goes on. But when I try to imagine myself doing it, I get to "what am I going to say?", "what can I describe the the other person will like?", "what if they don't?".
So, I am not against a SL sexual relationship. But, I think I will need to find someone that I know I can trust completely, who understands my hangups, and who will help me work past them at my own pace. Not exactly a small order! Until then, my little xcite bits (yes I actually bought them. I don't know what I was thinking that night!) can stay right there in their folder.
First...Friends...
I have been in SL almost two months, and I have exactly 0 friends. Oh...I have people on my friends list. But that is where it ends. We never seem to get together and do anything. At best we exchange hellos on IM. Some I have never talked to again. I know it is partly (mostly) my fault. I am not, by nature, a very outgoing person. I tend to wait for things to happen, instead of making them happen. It is very hard for me to introduce myself. I tend to hang out on the sidelines, looking like a forlorn wallflower. And when someone does offer friendship, I am not likely to try to start a conversation later when I see they are on. I get an overwhelming feeling of not wanting to disturb them, or be a bother. In fact, now that I think about it. That is my driving fear. I don't want to 'be a bother'. How sad is that? I would rather wander around alone than take the chance of being a burden or feeling unwelcome.
It also doesn't help that I either stay at home working on a project, or I go to a club (Either Bogart's, Phats, or the Seabreeze...all jazz clubs). I guess that just like RL, if you want to make quality relationships, a club is not the place to spend your time. So when I am on, it is always what do *I* want to do. Where am *I* going. When what I really want is a community. I want to be asking where are *we* going. Do *we* want to check out this place I've heard about. I just can't get past this 'being a bother' fear.
Second...sex...
I've been putting off thinking about how I feel about this. In almost two months, I haven't done anything. In fact, I think I have gone out of my way to avoid it. At least, when it comes up, I do my best to change the subject. I even have a bathing suit with a skirt. It is a two-piece, but about as modest as they can get. In fact, I had a date with one guy who took me to a secluded beach, and he actually said "I expected you to have a one-piece". He thought I was a complete prude! (Which is probably why I haven't heard from him again... c'est la vie)
Forcing myself to think about it, and looking back at how I have behaved, I can see what he meant. I'm not against the idea of sex. In fact, the more comfortable I am getting in SL, the more comfortable I am becoming with it. Early on, I even spent one night touring various places: public rooms, beaches, even dungeons, bdsm clubs, and a Gor sim or two. A lot of what I found was disturbing, a little sparked my imagination and peaked my curiosity. But...the instant someone would talk to me (and for a girl in a sex sim it can be measured in nano-seconds!) I would panic. Oh no! He said something...he wants sex! And I would change the subject..."No, I'm just visiting", "I'm exploring", basically anything I could think of to put the person off.
And there we come back to it: panic....fear. Just like with friends. I don't want to 'be a bother' or in this case 'be a flop'. When it comes to online, I have never done it before. I'm not sure I know how. Oh, I know what goes on. But when I try to imagine myself doing it, I get to "what am I going to say?", "what can I describe the the other person will like?", "what if they don't?".
So, I am not against a SL sexual relationship. But, I think I will need to find someone that I know I can trust completely, who understands my hangups, and who will help me work past them at my own pace. Not exactly a small order! Until then, my little xcite bits (yes I actually bought them. I don't know what I was thinking that night!) can stay right there in their folder.
Deafening Silence
I am finding that I don't think blogging is for me. I just don't have time to get it all done! Between RL, and wanting to spend as much time as possible in SL, trying to keep up a blog is one thing too many.
Plus, I have never found a good reason to blog. I thought maybe just a diary, but then very little has been happening to me recently. I've worked on a few scripting projects. Trips to my favorite clubs have been bland at best. I get hit on by guys that either go from "Hi" to "My place" in one breath, or they can't seem to put two words together at all. Where are all of the nice guys that can carry on a conversation without hinting at sex every other breath?! In fact, the one good night wasn't with a guy at all. I standing there trapped by this guy who thought "I've heard what they say about you" is a good opening line...when a woman asked me to dance "to teach these guys a lesson". It was the best time I've had there, before or since. (Thanks Tanya!!) But...now it is back to the same thing...sitting around waiting for a dance partner. ::sigh::
I don't have a business to blog about. I have done some contract scripting for a few clients. But I'm not sure how to use a blog to help with that business.
I thought that maybe I could blog about my shopping trips. At first it sounded like a nice idea. But there are loads of shopping blogs already. I'm not sure what else I could add. Every entry would be: I looked at these blogs, then did a search of classifieds, then wandered the malls looking for the smaller merchants.
So there you go...little time, and no direction. I'm not giving up on blogging yet. I'm too stubborn! But this is why I might not be posting frequently.
I know I don't have any readers, but just in case someone trips across me, thank you for your time! :)
Plus, I have never found a good reason to blog. I thought maybe just a diary, but then very little has been happening to me recently. I've worked on a few scripting projects. Trips to my favorite clubs have been bland at best. I get hit on by guys that either go from "Hi" to "My place" in one breath, or they can't seem to put two words together at all. Where are all of the nice guys that can carry on a conversation without hinting at sex every other breath?! In fact, the one good night wasn't with a guy at all. I standing there trapped by this guy who thought "I've heard what they say about you" is a good opening line...when a woman asked me to dance "to teach these guys a lesson". It was the best time I've had there, before or since. (Thanks Tanya!!) But...now it is back to the same thing...sitting around waiting for a dance partner. ::sigh::
I don't have a business to blog about. I have done some contract scripting for a few clients. But I'm not sure how to use a blog to help with that business.
I thought that maybe I could blog about my shopping trips. At first it sounded like a nice idea. But there are loads of shopping blogs already. I'm not sure what else I could add. Every entry would be: I looked at these blogs, then did a search of classifieds, then wandered the malls looking for the smaller merchants.
So there you go...little time, and no direction. I'm not giving up on blogging yet. I'm too stubborn! But this is why I might not be posting frequently.
I know I don't have any readers, but just in case someone trips across me, thank you for your time! :)
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
How (NOT) to interior decorate!
I have a confession to make...
I gave up on furniture shopping.
After starting the same way that I did with the house (Yadni's Junkyard), and wading through all of the furniture from the boxes I got there, I just haven't had it in me to start an extensive furniture shopping trip.
Oh...I started. I really did. Honest. But the choices of furniture are immense compared to housing choices. I started the search with 'furniture' in the classifieds. Then it hit me...I can't even really look for furniture without considering the poses! There is furniture pose free, with standard poses, and the 'hot' variety. Some furniture maker offer mod, others are no mod. Then what if I love the piece of furniture, but hate the pose that has been put in it? If I place any 'sex' furniture, will visitors think that because it is there, then I must want sex with them? (Right now, if I placed it, it would be because I hate limit my options. I have all kinds of stuff for 'just in case'!)
Just when I would feel overwhelmed, I would conveniently find something else 'more important'. Maybe one of the few friends I've made IM's me and invites me out for the night. Maybe I really 'needed' to see the latest releases at Adam & Eve, or Sirena's Hair and Fashion.
So I have taken the easy way out for now. I saw a nice living room set where I bought my house. Upstairs is fairly barren, with just a bed from Yadni's.
BUT on the other hand....I have a brand new look! (Ok...I was hiding from furniture shopping...but I really like it)
Here is the new me! (Hair: Phoebe (by Sirena), Skin:OMG.Freckles(by RealSKIN) )
I still plan on furniture shopping. But I think I'll just take it more slowly. Besides, I really need to decide on how I feel about placing the 'hot' furniture in my house. And that means I really need to decide on how I feel about sex in SL. I haven't tried it yet. I have to confess to being a bit intimidated by the idea. I know that two of my guy friends would like to. When they bring up the subject I freeze, So far, they have respected my desires and not pushed it. But this is a topic for a whole new blog entry!
I gave up on furniture shopping.
After starting the same way that I did with the house (Yadni's Junkyard), and wading through all of the furniture from the boxes I got there, I just haven't had it in me to start an extensive furniture shopping trip.
Oh...I started. I really did. Honest. But the choices of furniture are immense compared to housing choices. I started the search with 'furniture' in the classifieds. Then it hit me...I can't even really look for furniture without considering the poses! There is furniture pose free, with standard poses, and the 'hot' variety. Some furniture maker offer mod, others are no mod. Then what if I love the piece of furniture, but hate the pose that has been put in it? If I place any 'sex' furniture, will visitors think that because it is there, then I must want sex with them? (Right now, if I placed it, it would be because I hate limit my options. I have all kinds of stuff for 'just in case'!)
Just when I would feel overwhelmed, I would conveniently find something else 'more important'. Maybe one of the few friends I've made IM's me and invites me out for the night. Maybe I really 'needed' to see the latest releases at Adam & Eve, or Sirena's Hair and Fashion.
So I have taken the easy way out for now. I saw a nice living room set where I bought my house. Upstairs is fairly barren, with just a bed from Yadni's.
BUT on the other hand....I have a brand new look! (Ok...I was hiding from furniture shopping...but I really like it)
Here is the new me! (Hair: Phoebe (by Sirena), Skin:OMG.Freckles(by RealSKIN) )
I still plan on furniture shopping. But I think I'll just take it more slowly. Besides, I really need to decide on how I feel about placing the 'hot' furniture in my house. And that means I really need to decide on how I feel about sex in SL. I haven't tried it yet. I have to confess to being a bit intimidated by the idea. I know that two of my guy friends would like to. When they bring up the subject I freeze, So far, they have respected my desires and not pushed it. But this is a topic for a whole new blog entry!
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